YOU’VE heard of Morecambe and Wise, Reeves and Mortimer, and Dumb and Dumber. Now meet our Skip Hunk double act, Neil Kay and his big chum Tim Bennett!
Introduce yourselves guys!
I’m Neil, and I’m 35. I work at Greystones Aggregates & Recycling as an HGV driver and yard assistant.
And I’m Tim, I’m 40, and I work in the yard.
It’s just like listening to Ant and Dec! Tell us more – like how long you’ve been there, and what you do.
Neil: Two years, yard maintenance, driving, delivering and collecting skips.
Tim: Three years, I sort skips and stuff.
What’s the best thing about working there?
Neil: There’s a running joke – the business has two owners, one I call grandad, the other silverback.
Tim: We all have a laugh and take the mickey out of each other.
Sounds like you’re a right pair of jokers. What bits could you live without?
Tim: Skips with water in them, and big lumps of concrete.
Not sure what bikes have ever done to you! Any memorable moments to share?
Neil: Backing an eight ft wide truck into a 40ft doorway and missing. It was one week after my test and one bent truck.
Tim: I once lost some bales of straw off a trailer, which happened to land in a lady’s garden – and she’d just sold the house.
The Chuckle Brothers had nothing on you two. What’s happening after work?
Neil: Helping at a local farm in the summer.
Tim: Relaxing after work during the week, and at weekends I go out.
Go crazy guys! Speaking of which, what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
Neil: Left the bosses’ kids in the yard, and learned expanding foam and kids are not a good combination.
Tim: I used to love having play fights with skid steer loaders.
Getting romantic now, what’s your idea of a romantic night out – and who with?
Neil: Skip upside down in a dusty yard with fish and chips. And I have to say that is with my wife!
Tim: Curry night with my partner.
Not exactly Paris by moonlight chaps. Anyway, what kind of super power would you have?
Neil: A pause button for when the bosses start moaning.
Tim: I’d be invisible, that way I wouldn’t get into trouble.
What would be the theme tune for both of you?
Neil: Circus clowns’ theme tune, we’re always clowning around.
Tim: Paradise by George Ezra, because I’d like to go to the Bahamas.
Wouldn’t we all, Tim, wouldn’t we all? Fascinate us with an amazing fact.
Neil: I passed my driving test two years ago but haven’t bothered driving a car. I have passed class 2 and I’m ready for HGV.
Tim: I’ll turn my hands to anything, if I can.
Have a bash at summing yourselves up in three words each.
Neil: Prankster, comedian, handsome.
Tim: Outgoing, stupid, funny.
Okay then… make us laugh!
Neil: My wife told me sex was better on holiday. That was a nice postcard to receive.
Tim: What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
Apart from the day-glo safety vests that are obviously de rigour at Greystones Aggregates & Recycling, have you had any fashion disasters?
Neil: Skip finds. Mickey Mouse ears, which I wore for a week.
Tim: Putting on a t-shirt back to back and going out wearing it.
No-one will notice under the hi-vis Tim. When you’re cooking, what’s your speciality dish?
Neil: Mince and dumplings.
Tim: Beans on toast.
Nice and simple, say no more! If you ruled the world, what laws would you introduce?
Neil: Every Monday is a national holiday.
Tim: Looks like Tim’s decided to take a break.
Ever met a celebrity?
Neil: Lucy Pargeter, who plays Chas Dingle in Emmerdale. She was stock car racing.
Tim: I met Ronnie, Amy and Johnny from Lizard Lick.
Mingling with the stars indeed! Social media – or social down the pub?
Neil: Social down the pub.
Tim: Social and screen time down the pub.
Imagine winning millions on the Lottery. What would you both buy?
Neil: A 150-acre farm, all the machinery, and multiple springer spaniels.
Tim: I’d buy a farm with a big house and lots of land.
Well lads, even if your numbers don’t come up, you’re both still winners to us. Just don’t give up the day job!
Greystones Aggregates & Recycling, Knaresborough, North Yorkshire.